First Day -My Story- Fat - Thin - & Back to Fat

Hello All or Hello No One....
Okay this is my first day ever blogging. As I said in my description I am a 28 year old male inspired recently from the movie "Super Size Me." I am 6'1" and I am 270 lbs. That is about 80 lbs over my ideal weight. To track some of my weight shifts I will start back in high school.
....dream sequence with the harp........
So I was an overweight funny kid with lots of friends. My parents had no money so all I had was my sense of humor. Around Junior high age I was starting to develop some crushes on some girls that where friends of mine. I never had a chance...I had lots of friends who were girls, but they were interested in the jocks. So I spent hours on the phone listening to them tell me how crappy these guys treat them, yet they were always waiting at their feet. So somehow someday, I decided I needed to loose some weight. I don't really recall how I did it, other than think how desperately bad I too wanted a relationship and felt like my weight was holding me back.

.....fast forward to high school.....
So I had recently been elected as Junior Class President and I met this spunky cute girl from a neighboring school named Erin.... By now I was very thin, still poor, but I had my sense of humor, and was gaining respect with my commitment and dedication to the tasks I committed to like being a class officer. I went on to be Student Body President and head off to college. It was sometime at college I again started to develop my weight problem again. I was still dating Erin, and there was alot of friction between her and my friends. They didn't like her and she really didn't like them. But I am a people pleaser by nature, so I danced the line between all of them. I joined a Cooperative -kinda like a fraternity. As college went on I gained pound after pound... Soon I was up to 265. I had been with Erin for 5 years, I had many many friends, and had held several offices with my co-op and I was the President over all the Cooperatives at Purdue. It was apparent the my weight was an issue with Erin and soon she broke up with me..... Even though I wasn't happy with her 100%, it hurt incredibly. I was fat, alone, and still funny. Erin was a board member on this Cooperative Housing board I was the president of so I had to see every other Monday....

FIRST BIG WEIGHT LOSS BEGINS

So I vowed to loose 5 lbs every two weeks so I when I went to these board meetings I would look better and better. Especially since in a few months from then I would be going on Spring Break with a large group of people, and you guess it...the ex was one of them.... So the weight loss went on... I ate good, and exercised, and with my determination to "show my ex" -who in reality didn't care anymore... I lost 70 lbs over the next few months. That summer I went to study aboard in England and still felt very alone.

My last year of college

So I had a great summer and was thinner than ever. I was serving a very challenging 2nd year as the president over all the cooperatives again. Then I met this incredibly spunky attractive girl named "Dawn." She was pledging a girls cooperative and I was paired with her in an event and we quickly became friends and that developed into a relationship.

DAWN AND I

It was a long journey to get married. I eventually graduated and move back to my home town. I commuted the hour back to Purdue frequently and that next Christmas we got engaged in Jamaica. I had gained about 15-20 pounds but with my height and frame it wasn't too noticeable. She graduated Purdue and then went to another state school to finish her master's degree. That was a three hour commute and thank god for unlimited night and weekend cell phone plans. Two years later (now 40 lbs heavier than I met her at) we got married. It was wonderful. We went to Cancun for our honeymoon.

NOW BACK TO MY WEIGHT PROBLEM

All during the time I was dating Dawn.... comfortable and gaining weight. She stayed very thin and beautiful. I always seemed ashamed even 40 lbs ago. She never ever has made it an issue. But I now find myself at the same weight prior to Erin's breakup. I have had to buy pants that have the stretching elastic waist. I have pile after pile of clothes that don't fit me. I have had to go buy new Jeans, etc. For work I only have two pair of pants that fit me. But I am either too embarrassed or wishful thinking of my waist line going down I don't buy more. I feel awkward and out of place in our sex life. I feel too fat to initiate sex and I feel undeserving of any sexual advances. Wow..this hurts to type this...

SO WHY AM I FAT

Well mostly just the basics. I have a track record of eating a lot of bad food with little physical activity. Lunches at fast food chains, binges on sweets, and probably worse of all I awake in the middle of the night and eat food. I think the latter is my worst trait. I have had habits off and on to wake up and eat sweets uncontrollably. I eat spoonful after spoonful of peanut butter, cookies, you name it. I work at an office and my hobbies are computers. So I don't get out and exercise. Dawn and I love to watch TV, and I have two DVRs (Tivo like units) to allow us to never miss a beat. And to compound those issues. I have tried diet after diet, gained and lost, and I have felt ashamed about my weight.

SO WHAT AM I GOING TO DO AND HOW IS THIS TIME DIFFERENT

I'm glad you asked.... hee hee. I am going to admit I have a problem. I am going to quit the fad crap and eat healthy. I am going to commit to exercising at least 30 minutes a day for a minimum of 5 days and I am not going to eat any fast food. And I am going to publish my progress on this blog. So tune in tomorrow to see my progress and struggles.